{a healthy december}

Over the last 2 weeks I've been slacking, then Thanksgiving came and it was all down hill from there. I basically threw in the towel and stopped caring. I let myself forget how badly I want to be healthy and I started to think, maybe I'm ok where I'm at for now.

And then I remembered something I often tell myself when I'm on track.

The biggest lie you can tell yourself is, 'It doesn't matter. It does.'
It matters when you eat cookies for breakfast..and lunch..and after dinner.
It matters when you drink soda (even diet) instead of water.
It matters when you don't pay attention to your food choices.
It matters when you eat too many carbs, sugar, high fat foods and not enough veggies.
It matters when you choose to sit around the house instead of working out.
It matters when you stop caring about yourself.

Each of these choices add up, they take me farther and farther away from where I want to be. And I know, I know, how mad I'll be at myself if I let December pass by in a haze of sugar cookies and diet Dr. Pepper! So I'm not going to let that happen.

I'm going to continue exercising (I did yesterday and today and it feels so good!), start eat healthier and be mindful of how I'm treating my body. Because I know those things that I sometimes tell myself don't matter, can make all the difference in the world.

{a new week}

This last week totally kicked my butt. I was sick AND pms-ing and basically felt like death all week.  So, I didn't work out. Not once. And I was definitely hit and miss with my eating choices. I was just too sick and tired to bother with anything more than surviving the week. Lame, I know.

And now we are half way through November!? With the holiday's approaching I feel like I really, really need to commit to some consistency.  All the treats and carb-tastic goodness that awaits is making me nervous. Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays. I love the cooler weather, spending time with family and my home smelling like cinnamon spice. But food wise it's a slippery slope my friends and I definitely do not want to start the new year where I am now. I have plans for a real bathing suit this summer and if I don't start now, it's not going to happen.

So here are my goals for the week

Eat healthy. Sticking to my calorie range (1250-1500) and focusing on whole foods.
Exercise. Every day. I plan to go for daily walks pushing my boys in the double jogger for my cardio and then add in some resistance training using the wii active.
Nix Soda. Not even diet.
Lots and lots of water. They say you should divide your weight in half and that's how many ounces of water you should be drinking per day.
Take my vitamins.
Blog more. I have so many things that I want to blog about, but I'm having such a hard time sitting down to do it! It helps keep me focused and accountable, so it's time to move it up on my list of the priorities:)

Here's to a great week!

{Ambitious}

This morning I pulled out some "skinny" clothes and tried them on, just for kicks. Um, yikes.

{Side note: Can I just say how much I love this outfit? There is just something so cute about a plain white tee and a pair cute of jeans. But it's not something I wear very often, because wearing white makes me feel like a marshmallow. It's true.}

Anyway, so I yanked on my jeans and while I was excited at being able to pull them on and zip them up, I was most definitely not stoked about the muffin top they produced. BUT they inspire me. It's exciting that less than 2 years ago I was able to fit my body into those jeans, and you know, actually wear them in public:)

So I thought I would have my sweet husband snap a couple of before pictures. After taking a good look at all that marshmallowy muffin topped goodness I started to doubt myself and asked him, "Do you think I'm being too ambitious?" to which he promptly replied "No, I don't think you're being ambitious."*
and the part of me that is sick of being where I'm at piped up and said 'You know what? I want to be ambitious!'

And there you have it. I want to be ambitious. In fact, I've decided to embrace ambitiousness. I want to challenge myself and become stronger both  physically and emotionally.

So in the sake of being ambitious and all that, and staying accountable, I'm posting the pictures.
Front and side view now and in 7 weeks I'll do it again, hopefully without the muffin top:)

*I should clarify, my husband meant to say I'm not being too ambitious. I'm kind of happy about the mix up though, it helped me to see I want to keep moving forward:)

{sometimes..}

Sometimes you have to forget everything else.
Every fear.
Every insecurity.
Every doubt.
Every reason to give in, to give up.
And move forward.
Be conscious.
Be present.
Choose to delay gratification.
And do what will ultimately make you happy.

The Starting Line

Last night I caught the last half of a weight loss show right about the time the contestant started slacking off. When it came time to weigh in the trainer chewed out the guy for missing his goal..by 40lbs. As the contestant stood on the scale looking sad and disappointed the trainer pointed to the number on the scale and said "YOU chose this number, not your goal. You chose THIS number." And I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.

I am choosing to eat unhealthy foods.
I am choosing not to exercise.
I am choosing soda over water.
I am choosing NOT to change my life.

Until now.

It doesn't matter that I have been here so many times before (here being fed up with my unhealthy lifestyle).
It doesn't matter that I have an overwhelming amount to lose (numbers and pictures (gulp!) coming tomorrow).
It doesn't matter that I am terrified of failing.

Because what I've been doing isn't working for me, so it's time to make some BIG changes.

One choice at a time.